Wretched Soul

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I once was a man, so full of pride
Behind my timidity would I hide
I thought my deeds were like shimmering gold 
When in truth, no value did they really hold.
 
So good was I at being good
I began to believe that no one could,
Even if they really did try,
Yes no one would catch me in this lie.
 
I got so good, I thought I believed
When really I merely myself deceived 
I was in so deep I never even knew
That all was a lie, I thought to be true.
 
I joined the ranks, under His command,
On the side of the King I took my stand.
But never did I fool the Sovereign King
Who knows all, sees all, everything.
 
Even still being the traitor that I was,
I faught for the King because, because.
Because I thought I could make my place
Within his Castle, if I stayed an ace. 
 
Had I only known that entered did no one
Unless the King had specifically chose them.
For no matter the battles that I could "win"
Only those called, would ever get in.
 
But then one night, lo that awful night
Was a battle in which alone I did fight.
It was upon me so quick, off my guard being caught.
She went for my sword, from my hands was it wrought.
 
I tried crying out but quickly went silent
The sin conlvulsing within, becoming so violent.
I begged and I cheated my way out of death
Giving in to Temptation, who stole my breath.
 
She never would let me on my own breathe
Having taken my breath, I never could leave.
But she'd give it back so I could live normal days
Yet every night once again would she take it away.
 
Though not my own, I found a well,
Reaching deep within for a drink, I fell.
Having been so thirsty, I was quickly consumed
If I only knew, those who drank were forever doomed.
 
If I only had known the poison Temptation gave me, 
I would have gladly died if it meant I'd be free.
The sin grew within making me lose control
Still, I gladly drank the poison that was killing my soul.
 
This continued on for a time too long;
And I still couldn't see that I was in the wrong.
No matter how fatal I knew the poison to be,
I just wouldn't stop, even if it were the death of me.
 
Then one night, while in Temptation consumed,
There came a light with a crack and a boom.
And there stood a messenger from the King himself.
His garments displaying the King's great wealth.
 
"Sad tidings for you do I now bring,
A message straight from the King.
A message to you of consequence,
One that will cause your burning ears to ring.
 
"The King is aware of your heinous crimes
He warns you of the coming times
Where his judgement will rain down on you,
And you will feel you've lost your mind.
 
"He knows about you and Temptation,
And how you desire her awful sensations.
But you think that you of all are perfect 
Not needing any salvation.
 
"Oh how you error in your ways
When you should be counting the days,
Until the debt you have incurred 
Is a debt you will soon pay."
 
I looked at him and openly scoffed
When I knew inside that I had naught,
Nothing at all with which to pay,
To my silence he then had this to say.
 
"The King is generous which is why I was sent
To make sure his gift wasn't carelessly spent.
You must pay it all back, everything
Down to the very last cent
 
"If not, to you a curse shall ensue
In the midst of a battle, the world verses you
On that dark and damning day 
You will have no choice but to pay your due.
 
"For there will fall your wretched soul,
Into the deepest, darkest hole
The consequences of your crimes
Having finally taken their toll.
 
"And there you'll fall forevermore 
Never knowing what's in store
And all the wretched deeds you loved
You'll now at last abhor
 
"For so long you wore a mask of light
And even fought their same fight
Yet all this time underneath your skin
Your heart was darker than blackest night.
 
"If just one had been able to tell,
Who you were, yet there you fell
Falling closer than you ever knew
Toward the tormenting, firery, flames of Hell."
 
"Enough, that's it, no more," cried I
"I can take no more or else I'll die
There must be something I can do
Anything that could make me anew."
 
"Have you not listened to what I said?
Or do you have too thick a head
You cannot do a thing at all,
Your soul, forever has been dead.
 
"Please tell me who," I did reply
"Can save me from my very lies.
Who can bring dead back alive 
And my useless soul, who can revive?"
 
"There is one man, who completely paid
 The price it cost and was not afraid
For on a cross he did die,
For the sinners lost, his life he laid.
 
In the grave he spent three full days,
Yet in the grave he would not stay 
The King having given him the power
To conquer death in every way.
 
Only through repentance and belief upon the Son
Can ever your battles against sin be won.
For through Christ and his saving power
 Has all the work been done."
 
Before the messenger made those words his last
Before he was suddenly gone with a flash
He said this to me "Be warned,
When between right and wrong you are torn."
 
As you sin you twist the jagged knife
That drains away your lover's life
As you stare at them through tear filled eyes 
Think, 'was it really worth this price.'"
 
With that he was completely gone
Come to find out it was already dawn.
For once I felt refreshed and renewed 
And the sin that I did began to feel crude.
 
At last I thought I was truly free
But Temptation still had her chains on me
Only now, she had loosened her grip
Letting me over my own stumbling blocks trip.
 
I then fell in love with a girl who changed my life 
So much so I wanted her to be my wife
But it wasn't meant to be as we quickly fell apart
And in the end we both had broken hearts.
 
So there I was more broken then before
Having lost everything to still lose more.
For I had believed I had been made new
Only to find that to be far from true.
 
And for the very first time
I realized I was quite blind
To still be living a life with Temptation,
Was the very proof of my lack of salvation.
 
Then I went and bowed before the King
Giving him much thanks for everything
For the loss of a love and for the pain
And the resulting salvation that I gained.
 
And as the King would so decree
I repented, believed, and became quite free.
The King and his army defeated Temptation 
And I joined His ranks through a watery declaration.
 
As time went on, I still found I sometimes would fall
But I wasn't alone, to the King I could call.
And he will always help me up by lending a hand 
And lets me lean on Him when I need help to stand.
 
For so long as I lean on him in the midst of my trials
And keep repenting of sin which I now find so vile,
He will give me the strength, the strength to carry on,
And show me the way with each new coming dawn.
 
I once was a man, the most wretched soul,
Who was saved by grace and remade whole,
Not by any deed I could do on my own
But by faith in the perfect work of Christ alone.
 
 

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