Worth Full

Thu, 06/13/2019 - 03:28 -- JMacho

 Teacher: I am teacher.

Student: I am student.

Teacher: Good morning students I am your teacher.

Student: You were my teacher. I was meant to trust you.

Both: But you are less than what I thought of you.

Teacher: You, I choose you to make feel less. For an IEP you never asked for.

Student: I told you when she pushed me into the wall. When I was clearly tripped on purpose. But you saw it happen so …

Both: what else to do then to throw-

Teacher: You

Student: Me

Both: To the back of the room.

Teacher: I will tell you to shut your mouth, that you are worthless and that you deserve it.

Student: You threw me to the back of the room, leaving me to fend for myself. When I got to 6th grade I knew nothing. All thanks to you.

Both: But whatever right.

Teacher: You are too fat, stupid, and unworthy of my time.

Student: I am too fat, stupid, and unworthy of anyone’s time.

Both: Too fat, stupid, and unworthy of precious time.

Teacher: I proudly turned a blind eye.

Student: you proudly turned a blind to all the bullying. You let them say/do what they wanted. You let them push me into walls, tables, chairs. You watched as they did it and said I deserved it. You let me be the punching bag to their aggression and made it ok. When that girl and her friends jumped me in front of you said nothing. When I begged you to be human you said-

Both: I don’t help waist of space.

Teacher: and you are a waist of space.

Student: I am a waist of space. I don’t deserve to be happy. I am worthless. I am useless. I am full of crap. I am a punching bag. I am to be taken advantage of. I am ugly, fat, made to be hurt. I. AM. WORTHLESS.

Both: WORTHLESS.

Teacher: EXACTLY.

Student: WORTHLESS.

Both: 7 YEARS LATER.

Teacher: It’s nice to-

Student: STOP, It’s my time to talk. I have been pushed away my whole life. School has always been a nightmare you call me fat, ugly and stupid. At one point in my life I believed all those things. Because of you. I thought I was fat, I thought I was ugly, I thought I was stupid, I thought I was not worth anyone’s time or the space I took up. I thought all these things so much. I thought I deserved everything I got. I deserved panic attacks, I deserved to be deeply depressed, and I deserved to have anxiety. Did you know you were doing that to me? I don’t even think you knew. Did you? I felt so bad about myself. Once again because of you. Of and I am going to keep reminding you. Reminding you of what an awful person you are. Don’t you think you at least ow me that? You know every single day I woke up and I was so scared. Scared of my thoughts, scared of what I might do alone, and my biggest fear… YOU. Oh and those thoughts that I let you creep into my head. Those thoughts are the same thoughts that kept me up at night. It’s kind of stupid because I never knew that one day I would be so ,so, so happy. So extremely excited for life. I never knew that I would have friends. I never knew that I would ever have the people I trust. I don’t trust many people thanks to you. I love singing, acting, and dancing. I love tapping and waving out car windows. I love myself now too. I seem to go back to those days at times. I bet you didn’t know that right? I go back to those days and think I’m not worth the space I am taking up, but I am worth the space because if I wasn’t I would not be here. So I guess I have to thank you. Without all the crap you put me through I wouldn't know my worth. So uh while I still got the chance. You know while your still haven’t walked away, um screw you, screw you so very much, but uh, um thank you. You ow me a …

Both: SORRY.

This poem is about: 
Me

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