Worldlessly Alone
I slip, the ghost of the unheard girl no one knows
I climb the stairs, ascending my personal heaven
I sit, reclining against my personal deity’s throne
A silent version, solemn version of the self I force myself to be
Quiet
As I stare at my wooden door
As I look at my personal pearly gate
As I remove myself from the life
The chaotic mess of a world I no longer am a part of
Clicking
When my hands type away hours
When my homework is piling up
When the ticking of a clock and pounding of my fingers
Is all I have to hear
Peace
No longer counting the people in the room
No longer analyzing who sits with whom
No longer absorbing the silence of pain
Ignoring the masses that drown out the outside world
Exhaustion
As I watched the child crying in the bathroom stall
As I watched the happy couple sitting far apart
As I noticed the details too small to ignore
As I saw the pain in a friend’s eyes when discussing fathers
As I chatter through the pain I observe
Mindless comments
Hopeless comments
Saved from the self I force myself to be
When I sit in a temple of my own creation
Admiring my wall, a wall that protects
Facing a world that needs protecting
Reviewing the self I allow myself to be
Sitting in a room,
Admiring a quiet moment
Peacefully ignoring the outside
As I enjoy the inside.