Someone draws the blinds,

Waking me up on this early Saturday morning.

As I squint to look around the room,

I notice a blonde haired man standing by the window

A dark bearded man to my left with his leg wrapped around me.

What?

I try to clear my head,

Everything from last night comes in flashes

These flashes aren’t very clear,

But fuzzy and out of order.

I remember laughter, music, people smoking and drinking,

I’m drinking.

Trying to remember how I got in this bed,

Why is the man beside me not the man I love?

I start to feel guilty,

For what?

For something I can barely remember?!

I look back at the blonde man,

Flashback

I’m leaning over him and we’re kissing,

Panic

Oh, what have I done?!

Why?

Why did I let this happen?

Did things get too far?

Why?

Why can’t I remember everything?

Why?

Why couldn’t I be faithful to the one who is waiting for me at home?

Why?

Is the question I still ask myself to this day.