Laying on my bed, I stare blankly at the wall.

Silence surrounds me, yet it sounds like screams in my ears.

What is the point? Why try?

Bitterness engulfs me, and I wonder

Who am I to feel miserable?

Who am I to lay here in suffering?

Many have it worse, many feel more pain.

Yet I stay, still laying in bed.

For who can live with half of their heart miles away?

 

Walking through the day, half here, half gone.

The teachers lectures simply flying over my head

"Try harder, try again!"

I smile and nod, make the same promises once more.

And they believe me, believe for another day that all is well, simply a teenagers lethargy that will soon overcome. 

But they're wrong

For who can live with half their heart so far away?

 

Once home, I transform

Slipping off the disguise that I wear so well at school.

I enclose myself in my room,

Coming out only when asked to,

Never truly fitting in.

My room is my retreat, the only place where my word is law.

My bed is my office, where my dreams are made into plans, and where plans are made into actions.

Yet, I still stare at the wall, always wondering

How much longer can I live with half my heart such a long distance away?

 

Graduation is here, the hustle and bustle of those who cannot wait to be gone.

While I yearn to leave as well, I still find myself isolated from them, still so different.

Graduation done, diploma received, applause dying away, I step off the stage.

Not bothering to look around, 

For what is the point when half of my heart is not here?

 

At the end I walk, walk to those few who still care.

Fake smile plastered on my face, preparing to share the false joy I feel.

A shout,

My name,

Dimly heard amongst the great crowd. 

Shock radiating through out my body, I turn.

Not daring to hope, expecting a trick of my own mind.

Yet there they are, as clear as day

My family.

Father, stepmother, grandmother, and my little brother.

As I collapse, they surround me, support me.

Tears pouring down my face, staining my gown.

My father smiling at me, family behind him.

Knees weak, I touch his face, and then the others. 

Because it is so hard to believe, that after so long,

After so much pain,

After so many lonely nights,

The other half of my heart is finally home.