Dear father who art I heaven God keeps sending letters.I'm still trying to read last weeks stack.He either sends me some clarity,Or i'll think does He have it out for me? Father,What should have I done when I lost my friend?What are you teaching me this time , God.Is there any gospel to hear when something good has its end. Is there a miracle inside every death? What am supposed to do with my family...When they act like strangersWhat you have to tell me then?I have some friends that aren't making any sense.Do you have advice for me, Father?I think you're trying to tell me something...But I can't grasp what it is.It may be you're sitting by me,Feeling the same pain that's keeping me alive. The doctrine says if you have nothing to tell,You're empathisizing because you've been there as well.I'm not done yet.No, I'm not numb yet. I have a burning desire to do my best,To see what will pan out for me.I want to live long enough to see my loved ones gain some sanity.Maybe my goals will be set.And this sadness will have its last ride.Maybe I'll find out this was all just a test.To see how much I wanted you in my life.Dear heavens,I want it more than ever.I want Jesus to be my conscience.Instead I feel the demons in every corner.All I need is you, Father.I'm ready.This is my ever after. Sincerely, Yours.