i want to scream and cry all day

but what would all my neighbors say

i dont want to go on living like this

all that matters in life i constantly miss

unbearable itd seem this hurt to be

either god or i must set me free

so much love i have thats never shared

they probably think ive never cared

more suffering more shame as each day stays the same

how can i feel good when i feel this lame

im sickened discusted and fed up w me

my reflection is not who i imagined itd be

i dont deserve sympathy concern or love

not even from the good lord up above

as im hating the choices ive made

i feel the will to live constatly fade

do they know how much they mean to me at the end of each lost year

will what ive done to them cause a single tear,

its hurting my children i mostly fear