whatever
i have just realized
that my feelings do not matter
that they are just “whatever” to people
i must keep this wall around me
to not let people even know what it is
i am feeling
and that is why they think i am some sort of robot
i cannot allow to make myself vulnerable
i have lost that human part of me
everybody stopped giving a damn about my mental state
and frankly, i don't think people would ever
because i do not matter enough to them
they just see me as a voiceless being
who is incapable of ever feeling emotions
instead, she absorbs other’s emotions
as she does not know what to feel herself
the numbness is suffocating me
and not allowing me to breathe
it’s whatever,
my feelings should be valid
because i am human
i am alive
i am someone
and i matter
and if you don’t give a damn
about what i feel
then i certainly should not
care about your opinions
now tell me how that would make you feel?
mad, right?
if i tell you your opinions have no effect on me
then your words should not have an effect on me either
since i am able to feel
what it is i desire to feel
and since i am in fact human
and i should not act tough or repress my feelings
just because i am scared of
what the others will think
but my feelings are my feelings
they are mine to own
and to control
and to overall,
experience and feel
and they can also
allow me to heal,