I'm tired of using the same cord for twelve measures. I can't wait for the bridge that will carry me to a new part of the music, but I'm scared of running into dreadful quarter notes along the way. I will miss the ties that I play, even they fade way too quickly.
I dread the key or even the tempo change hiding, waiting to pounce just as I get the rhythm of things. I can always wear my poker face and insist I didn't make a mistake when all eyes are centered on me. If things start to go over board, the applause break will give me just enough time to get back on my feet.
At some points I would like to rush and get over the tricky or boring parts. I can even drag and savor my favorite melody despite the upbeat tempos. But in the end, as the last note is played and fades to silence, all of the months of hard work trying to get everything just right either goes unnoticed or is praised. After everything falls silent, does it even matter anymore? What I done is done and there is no taking anything back.