Every morning when I wake
I question myself,
As I lumber out from bed
muttering slowly in my jumbled head
--what am I supposed to do today?
how should I fix myself?
where should I go? should I go anywhere?
who will I meet? will I meet anyone?
what will be out There?
There- where the sun shines bright- but terrorizes me.
There- where the winds gently blows- but pushes me awry.
There- where the water quenches thrist- but drowns me.
There- where my loved ones are happy- but where I am not.
As I stare at my reflection
grumbling inaudibly to my twin in the mirror
--what am I supposed to say today?
how should I talk with them?
will they like me? will I like them?
who will They be?
They- the ones who laugh fondly- at my expense.
They- the ones who pay attention- only on my misgivings.
They- the ones who are trusted- but don't dare trust me.
They- the ones I love- but I question, "do they love me?"
As the day wavers through time- morning, afternoon, night
mumbling fainlty in the dark
--I hope I did what I was supposed to do today
I hope I looked decent
I hope I went to the right place
I hope I met the right people- I hope liked me
As I close my eyes I wonder
--the clock ticks, the time passes- and again another day