What Do I Do

Fri, 04/26/2019 - 19:15 -- okavie

How could you have known,

when you called his name,

that there was no one left to answer?

Words left unspoken,

discussions never to be had,

no words left to say,

what can I say?

How could you have known?


How could you have prepared

for the sight you'd see

when you walked in


Dear 'father, what have you done?

Ripped yourself away from the world.

Called yourself a burden,

but why couldn't you see,

it was a burden of love,

of family.

How could you have prepared

for this?


How am I supposed to handle

this gripping loss?

A loss of words, feeling, heart. 

Nothing I can say,

or do, or think,

to mask this pain

choking off my breath.

How am I supposed to handle this?


What do you expect me to think?

Is nothing better than sadness?

Is no emotion 

better than pain?

Hold it in, 

or break the dam?

When I'm lonely,

left to my own thoughts,

what do you expect me to do?


Do you understand

how hard this is?

Do you see how we all struggle

just for breath?

Do you understand

how young I am- 

how am I supposed to know

what to do 

without you?


Pain like this

I have never felt before.

What do I do

with this foreign feeling?

Should I hide it

deep in my own lonliness,

or breakdown

for the whole world to see?

Pain like this

leaves me breathless.


What's next after this battle?

How do I move on from here?

They say

"don't dwell on the past"

but I never want to forget you.

Where do I go from here?

What do I do with myself?

I can't be alone.

Leave me alone.

What do I do?


What do I do,

without you?

This pain, its unbearable.

What do I do,

without you?

I can't imagine letting go.








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