What?

Fri, 11/09/2018 - 03:28 -- Aegis

In all of my growing, doing, being and all, 

I never once thought that I'd again be appalled,

For once in a life does far more than suffice,

When it's an unpleasant situation overall.

Always have I been the confusion,

Series of no's with yes's too,

I'm the contradicting contradiction,

So... What am I doing with you?

 

God must've laughed when He saw me here again

Flapping like the same fool in His pond

"Go and pick up a good one, maybe two, or even ten!

Let's see how many you will find quite fond!"

And so in His mirth I just deserve this:

Awful scene of lacking all.

And so here I stand,

with no fishes,

in the sand, 

And there's just one fish I see.

 

A beautiful one, 

And.... so much of, all you ever wanted

And despite your poor hook, 

She comes swimming right on towards you

And she's right there,

Right there

And all you need to do is tell her it's true

But, she turns away from you...

 

What a fish?

What a sheep! To be thinking you can ask her

What a sheep, and a fool,

To be seeking in a league far out of your pool!

 

And, yet in reality

She is so much more than what you could have

And knowing, it hurts a lot as you don't lift your hand,

She's all that you could hope for, 

And all that you can see now

And all that matters here now,

Is her. 

Still her...

 

How quaint, for her to have the reigns that you don't control

How fair, given all you never became now,

How right, considering the thousand things you've done...

You're done...

 

Unless there's something in her that makes her different.

Which there is, but could it actually be?

Is she this one, who understands and shows you grace so clearly,

And then really,

really,

means it when she says that she forgives me?

Could she forgive me?

Even after all I've done? 

 

God, thou who lives above,

Thou knowest, I'm not cut out for love,

So hear this prayer and hear it plain,

My world can never be the same-

If you take her out from me:

Let it not be due to me...

And all I've done.

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