Welcome to the Old Me

Welcome to the old me

where days of freedom were abundant

where was I free to do as I pleased

where I was enveloped in disregard

for other’s opinions

where I was more of myself than I was of them


Welcome to the old me

where I spent my days in leisure and play

where I spent afternoons on street corners;

playing ball

where I flew cartoon kites sky high

where I ate frozen juices and too sweet candy


Welcome to the old me

when I slept all day

and played all night

when I worried about high scores over popularity

when I made friends from affinity and not from my possessions

when I was ignorant of what was to come


Then it came.


Thrown into the chaos of junior high it consumed me

I cared too much about other’s opinions

Cared to little about mine

Sadly, I cannot swim as the tsunami of emotions drowned me


Friends became foes

Bikes became cars

Kool-aid became sodas

Self-Love became self-loathing

I became them


No longer was  I a free child but an entrapped mind

Following the turmoil of junior high

The chaos

The media was a beacon that I unknowingly followed

I lost myself in them


An epiphany came when I was at my lowest

alone as all the friends I thought I had vanished

disgusted in what I had done to others for others

lost in an arctic sea devoid of warmth and light

confused in what to do next


Then it came.


The glow was more than a change in age

but a change in character

I was no longer a free child nor a lost child,

but born a new


Self-love replaced self-hate

I learned to lift others instead of crippling them

I learned the joys of passion and the arts

I learned the freedom associated with becoming a leader

Instead of a follower

To believe in yourself and others

To approach everyday with optimism

And to live each day like it was my last;

or as they say Carpe Diem.


My glow was not one of appearance or friendship

One of character and pride

Self-love and joy

Dreams over doubts

Optimism over pessimism


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