Waiting

Sat, 07/26/2014 - 02:30 -- Jaynali

Location

(White honeysuckle mist strokes my jagged blades)

The comfort of my sheets wrings my neck; hold me down

Tell me its ok to just. stop. stay here

I always have

(Auburn ochre sprayed with burgundy)

Did I even look out today?

I could have done something

Wait. you’ll see the world tomorrow

(Wine stains like bruises on viridian lace sleeves)

When did my youth evaporate?

Help me understand

This is what you dreamed of, back when you needed permission to run past the sunken trees

(Caught on violet thorn clouds, shifting beneath my feet)

I remember the way I used to look at my future life

How come I have to wait for it?

You’ll understand when you are older

(Hot yellow fear seeps into my chilled stone skin)

I’m older now

Can I see what I’ve waited for?

Just a little more time, I promise you

(For treason is twisted into my palladium chain)

I sleep until noon, but my days are still long

How can I make them faster?

Find comfort in solitude. stop. be here

(My alizarin bed cured with rusted skeletons)

I collect keys now from older places

Which one can I use?

Use on what my dear, you are free right here

(There is no pewter lock to break without a trip to purgatory)

I can see the world from here, it’s mine

Why did I ever want to leave?

Now you are learning, soon you’ll be alright

(Just a sienna road, raw and burnt)

But when I’m asked what I have done in life, I answer with a glance

What time have I spent?

More time than you intended, less time than you deserve

(And my cobalt bones)

What have I done? Where is the time?

Where is the life I lived?

Where is the life I waited for? locked away

What did I wait for?

(Breaking titanium)

-y.s.n

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