The Voice

Brushing my teeth

I use extra-strength whitening paste

But look at your teeth, the Voice says. They're all nasty and yellow.

I see a bottle of polish sitting by my sink

I want to paint my nails a bright color

Why? the Voice asks. It won't make you any prettier.

A small feline face stares at me from the next room

I want to pet her

Don't, the Voice says. You'll chase her away like you do everyone.

I tell David I don't feel like being in any other groups

He doesn't respond

Of course, the Voice says. He doesn't care how you feel.

I tell Carrie I don't want to moderate her upcoming group anymore

She doesn't respond either

She's ignoring it, the Voice says. She thinks you're in one of your moods. You'll get over it.

My bangs are covering my eyes

I should get them trimmed

Don't bother, the Voice says. It won't make people forget all your other flaws.

Mark doesn't message. Gwyneth doesn't message. Nobody messages.

I wish they would message

They won't, the Voice says. They're avoiding you because you annoy them.

No new notes on my coords

Maybe one day I will have a better wardrobe

Not with that waistline, the Voice says. You'll stretch everything out.

My cosplays hang in my closet

I can't wait to wear them again

Who cares, the Voice says. You didn't even make them.

Hours cut at work

I hope they'll promote me because I need the money

Too bad, the Voice says. You don't deserve a payraise.

I always want to talk to Carrie

I think I might love her

Why does it matter? the Voice asks. She'll never love you.

I got into a local college

That's not half-bad, right?

Wrong, the Voice says. Any idiot can get into that college. Including you.

Hide away from my parents

Why don't they notice how I feel?

They do, the Voice says. But it's just a phase, so it doesn't matter.

Tears are streaming down my face

I think of my Dad's revolver in the closet

Do it, the Voice says. What reason do you have to stay here?

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741