The urge is always there,

after it's done for the first time.

That craving sets in,

and you are utterly helpless.

 

You do it to keep going,

to keep from falling.

To relieve that pain,

just for a second.

But,

it only brings you closer to the brink.

Closer to the dark.

Dancing on the edge,

blinded by your troubles.

And you are utterly helpless.

 

Utterly helpless against the demons,

the darkness,

the pain.

The weapon you used to fight it,

just became another weapon against yourself.

Another addiction.

Another attempt at control.

Another attempt at clarity.

Now,

another demon.

Another knot in the noose.

And you are utterly helpless.