When I was born, everyone especially my father were in awe

With the smallest action of a shrieking cry

It was my first action of strength, of power, of life

 

When I was younger I was told to do everything with blood, sweat, and tears because in the end it would be all worth it

Cliche isn’t it?

But in all honesty that was the only way I learned how to be just like my dad

My father, who has always recited to me the words that I knew I had to fulfill

“Necesitas que ser una niña fuerte y valiosa. Nunca depender de nadie"

The more I thought about it the more I knew that I had to make him proud

And so I recite to myself

“You need to be a strong and valuable child. Never depend on anyone "

 

The first value I ever learned was how to protect my family

At first I thought it meant to defend with balled fist

Which soon enough lead me into the principle’s office in the second grade after I had defended you against the stupid kid that thought he knew my life

Well he thought, thought too little actually

He said, “Your dad seems to always be so busy, does he even care about you?”

With the blood that rushed through my veins

I became hot

Hot to the point where my cheeks puffed up and I was ready to take upon anyone

But then I realized that after that blow, he wasn’t worth my time

He didn’t know you the way I do

 

He didn’t know that when I was 5 years old I was taken away from the feeling of home

The feeling of your embrace that smelled like the tiredness of an everyday

That I was lucky enough to bring you back with me

And I just pray to god that a raid in our house does not happen again

That the flashing lights and men with shiny superiority strip my home away again

 

The most important value that I learned was when

I walked up to the rusty mirror and looked at the image of a young girl,

and she appeared too innocent to understand

Because she was too accustomed to the way her father flung her into the air

as if she was a little doll

China perfect and careless about the world

 

I am the type of girl to love the sound of rain

It reminds me of the oak tree that danced with dewdrops

The same tree that you guided me towards, protectively and strong

you claimed that you needed no cover and only held onto the palm of my hand

 

I wish I had never let go of that hand

The one I knew that was 3 times as big

I know because I spent minutes on a daily claiming I was growing

and when I would place my hand against his it was still smaller

No matter what anyone might say, I have always thought of you as my prime example

My whole life, you were my north star to my safe haven

But in the daylight I had to learn my own way through

When you are young you tend to fall down and start to cry.

Some parents tend to run over towards you and pick you up.

Others tend to watch and wait for you to get up on your own

 

When people look at me they all see the young girl

the one that always has a smile on her face

the girl that sometimes talks too loudly

and you always seem to hear her ridiculous laugh from miles away,

which is something I don't want to under state,

and she never really cared that she was all out there

She doesn’t care because all that really matters is the words that her father told her

and as I take a deep breath in I exhale another sense of power

“I am a strong and valuable child. And I will never depend on anyone”