I sit here everyday

Wondering whether I should say it

But everytime I allow that thought to cross my mind

Every single time

You prove me wrong

Or I remember something you said to me

I'm being judgemental, I know

And the worst part is that I'm Judging you from your past

Guilty and guilty

But remember

Words weigh a lot

And let's be honest

That is the only thing you let me have access to,

Your words.

Your words

That's the only exit point I have

So I'm afraid I'll have to take it

Your actions

I don't want to dwell so much on them

Because

I will be biased

Well I always am when it comes to you

But with your words

I can't do that

Though I interprete them wrong sometimes

But guess what

I'm holding on

Holding on to something that maybe nonexistent

Because I'd rather

Not know what

Rejection feels like

Coming out of your mouth

And I'll pretend this is the same reason

Why you wouldn't act on them

Well maybe we're both pretenders

Or I'm just insanely insane