The Unsaid Offering of Silent Gratitude

You created who I am today, who I strive to be  

You gave me life

You loved me

You put a shelter over me head

You gave me a bed to sleep in

You put food on the dinner table for us

But when you hear cries do you come to help?

No

You tell me that crying is for the weak

When I mess up, do you you help me correct it?

No  

You scream at me for being so stupid

When I try my best, and it doesn’t meet expectations, do you promise me the future?

No

You throw me outside so I can pay for not reaching your expectations

When I act out from the pain, do you ask or try to understand?

No

You threaten until I have learned my lesson

When I ask for help, what do you do?

NOTHING

 

Nothing

 

You claim the title of being supportive

Yet when I turn for you, I am only greeted with with slap across the face and anger

You had tried to craft me into your perfect mold of this imaginary daughter

To be submissive

To only listen and obey

To follow every command given

I will no longer obey

And I will continue this path until I see my way through

You believe you gave me everything

But what I needed most you looked past

I believe that you would be my savior

I looked up to you believing that you would come and help

 

I believed in you

 

Over and over again

I put my trust back into you

And yet all I get in return is pain

 

Pain

It covers the walls

The black and gray tones splattered across with red angry claw marks

Help me

Someone help me

I looked for you

I believed in you

I wished for you

But you were never there

And pain

Oh the pain

Pain is all I know

And it is now my best friend

 

But this pain

This pain resulted in the answer I’ve been needing

It gave me the power to continue in life

It gave me the power to remove myself from you so I can believe in myself for once

And this pain will be something I forever carry on with me

I have grown resilient to you

To the pain

I have grown stronger than you have ever expected

Because of what you have done

 

I have grown

 

When years comes and decades past

When it is my time to shelter, love, and comfort a child of my own

Know that thanks so you

I will never be like you

I will love my child as she were

I will be there when she needs me

I may not be able to offer her the world

But I will offer her my love

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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