They're telling me to do it again
God damn it! I don't want to die!
I saw bullets rip them apart;
No one's safe on the battle field.
A corpse is just part of the wall
Something to shield us from their fire.
I can't remember being warm
Except when I'm covered in red.
I see sun but I can't feel it.
Too busy with staying alive,
Concentrating on my trigger,
And on killing my enemy.
I am part of the war machine;
Perfect at following orders.
But, sometimes I can't help the tears.
God Damn it I'm still so afraid!
I never said that I loved her,
I didn't get to kiss Mom goodbye,
I didn't get to start college,
But I'm fighting for my country…
I feel like that should be enough
But my teeth won't stop chattering
And the cold won't leave from my bones.
There's a deep soreness in my heart.
Because I know I want to live;
Just like every other soldier.
But we know the reality.
Most of us are dad men walking.
They said we'd be heroes back home
But they forgot to mention
How we would be killed in action.
Just to become part of the wall.
Sure, our families will be so proud,
That we died fighting for justice.
But that's just the point we'll be dead
No parent would want to hear that…
I've grown numb to sounds of shooting,
The everyday loss of comrades,
And the impossible orders
That have no hope of succeeding.
My heart is sore, but made of steel
Deep inside I know I'm afraid.
But I'm determined to get out
Of this unforgiving hellhole.
I've just reached the top of the trench
The tension is making me cry
As I wait for my curtain call.
I hear the click of the trigger;
I'm trapped by the enemies' eyes.
I see fear etched in their pupils
Regret for something left undone.
They are just following orders.
I bet I killed one of their friends;
Someone loved by their family
Who's body won't be recognized
Covered with all that fear and blood.
I feel the bullet hitting me
And see the world darken and fade
As I slide down into the mud.
At least since I'm on the outside
They can't use my corpse for the wall.
I'll die here somewhat like a man.
Not constantly stepped on by friends
Or used as a shield for bullets.
I'm like every other soldier
I am bound to the battle field
But I am getting out of here
But not with cries of victory.
Instead it's funeral music.
The familiar sound of gun fire,
Joined by sounds of bombs exploding,
And the sound of my own dying.
The sun's hidden behind a cloud
But soon now I won't need it's warmth
Because I'll be covered in blood.
The sweet kind angels will take me
To the painless clouds of Heaven;
There I won't have to be afraid,
There I won't have to kill people
To ensure my own survival,
And there I won't have to suffer…