I am an epileptic schizophrenic
with the magnetic charm
of a younger Tom Selleck;
I am a rampaging bafoon
who jumps before he leaps
to his impending—
Doom, Doctor Doom, he who looms
in his throne room who
looks through small holes in his scowling eye;
I— I am a Jedi knight.
I am who I want to be,
I say what I think and what I see,
though sometimes my words
are like a knife penetrating the skin
to deliver a piercing sting
and I am sorry if my words are sharp instead of blunt.
Words, thoughts, voices
jump around my synapses like mad monkeys
in a cage, shoveling manure with their rough hands
and catapulting them with their elbows
like a child throwing around food at lunch—
provoked with the simple opened juice carton
spilling on the sandwich (which was made
with Boar’s Head fresh cold cuts, that his mother
prepared for him with love as he walked out the door)
that he was looking forward to the whole day,
like Moses leading the weary people of Jerusalem through
scorching deserts and parting seas who were praying
to God that they reach the Promised land, and with that
he launched his ruined lunch at
the ungrateful bastard with great fury and content
inciting a nuclear war between nations,
a war that not one single person shall emerge
victorious in the fallout of ketchup-ed bodies.
I see planes, I see helicopters with news reporters
watching this sight of filthy students and furious teachers,
but I feel bad for the hard-working janitors
who will have to clean up this mess
and salvage what’s left in the fallout
and return home to their cramped houses
and empty fridges to be greeted
by smiling children and loving wives or husbands,
gathering to warm their cold feet at night;
all thankful to be home, to be alive
to be shielded from God’s wrath under this tin roof
and thankful that they are not alone.
I look up and I see a train
and people boarding and awaiting
to reach the bombarding might
of the man with the iron fists
launching himself at the speeding
locomotive on the train tracks.
i look up and i see the stars and the moon
in the middle of the day;
I look up and I see the sun.
I see the world
through a kaleidoscope—shifting and warping
everything these eyes may see
and I reach out before me to feel
the tangible colors, the tangible paint,
the tangible ink that my brain uses
to print out, in a coherent form of expression
and thought, what I see with these unfiltered eyes.
I see; and I smile.
But I know my heart can't take it all,
my eyes can't have it all,
and that I would have to share,
So I built a dam to prevent
the crushing weight of this world
from drowning me in its brilliance,
because I am raw energy like the Force,
because it flows through me and through you
and must be controlled and used correctly.
I have thoughts in my head like
coffee beans, solid hard and a choking hazard,
and the filter paper smoothens it out
into a a river of caffeine.
I gaze into the distance,
looking for a new world to conquer.