Unchaining My Voice
Noise, silence, brightness, darkness, confusion all around
Grasping, searching, clinging, hoping, waiting to be found
The gray mess and matter all inside my head
Pushing, weighing me down hard like lead
Wanting to be heard through the mush that is my brain
Trying to find a way to straighten the mess in all my pain
Look at me and what do you see? A woman roughed up and used
You pass judgment and gossip, ignoring your addition to my abuse
All I hear is that I should stay locked deep in this dark cage
Where no one will see, no will be bothered or put off by silent rage
Looking down I see the rags of my faded childhood dreams
Of careers and knights, of houses and white, all ripped at each seam
Slowly, inside my head I churn and struggle forth and back
Should I scream? Should I run? Or will I be down – again – with a smack?
Looking beyond the jarring people I see a light far and dim
I focus, stare, and hope that will get me out of my cage so grim
Gathering my dreams in my arms I tuck them all in tight
Breathing, bracing, preparing my face and body for another fight
Crawling out of my cage I feel the mud along my cheek
Running down my hair and body I hold in my silent shrieks
Laughing, scoffing, kicking, jarring, I hear their voices all around
Telling me to be quiet, be still, to be the lost voice never found
With every sneer and every look I almost turn back to my bars
They may be dark and hard but at least there I hide my scars
Then carefully I look up around the mud clots thrown at me
And see the light still far but bright and my head starts to see
The voice inside me that has been chained in scared silence for so long
May, just may have strength again to be heard over the throng
To my knees I raise up, not caring about the bruises on my skin
The bruises, the cuts, the scars they all are stories where I have been
Seeing the light brighter, closer I almost fall with a rock thrown at my head
Hurrying, scurrying, faltering, ignoring the screams now at my back
At last! Finally! It’s here! Now! The light covers me whole
I look back on all the faces now in shock as I’m at my goal
Feeling it start deep within and raises up to my tongue
The words flow out into the crowd as a song that has been unsung
“Look and see where I am and where you still sadly stand,
Holding the mud, the rocks the wood, idly in your hand.
Every bruise and every scar you gave I now can proudly wear
Because I stood up, because I spoke out and you are too scared to dare.
So come! Just try and lay me down to the muddy, sticky ground
Try to push me over with your words and fists, you’ll know then what I’ve found
My voice! I’ve found my voice and will to say ‘No!’ to all your demands.
To come from the sticky ground I now will stay and I will stand.”