I am a kaleidoscope
a Fibonacci spiral, going deeper and deeper
more complex and colorful than even I can understand.
I dig deep within myself and search
through piles of cool, cold facts and structured thoughts
for something of substance.
by drawing what I think the real me looks like
by writing the way I think she sounds
hoping my deeper self will hear the music
and glide out
to dance with me.
She is there
I feel her stirring, and I long to become her
this beautiful creature
with long hair and a confident smile
and a presence that permeates
and penetrates the darkest places
It digs deep within her
to where I am
she envelops me
seeps from inside my core
to remind me who she is.
who I am.
I am her.
we are one.
different parts in struggle and strength.
Sometimes I remind myself who I really am:
I am lovely
I am an intricate