He looks at himself everyday, on his knees and he starts to pray.
Praying for a good life without struggle, but he always feels like a genie in a bottle.
He doesn’t know why he feels this way, so he looks up for God in a reverential way.
“God”, he asks, “Why is life so cruel?”
“Is it because I always try to be cool?”
“Is it the way I look or is it what I do?”
“Or is it just because I don’t fully believe in you?”
He holds back the fears, but can’t hold back the tears.
He neglects the truth, which he believes to be “real”.
So he empties his heart, having nothing left to say.
Finishes his prayer and then goes on his way.
Then God says to him, “I’m glad you know your flaws...”
“Your not perfect and you can’t have it all.”
I knew you been praying a girl, someone you could hold.
Someone that could see through you, straight into your soul.
Someone to talk to, forever and ever.
No matter the cost, no matter the weather.
However, I knew you weren’t ready for what was about to unfold.
Too young and too naïve, I wanted you to grow.
Basic conversations are your difficulty, and they just plague you, just like an iniquity.
If you just calm down, and take it slow.
You would have your girlfriend, and not just a girl for show.
She would be that girl forever, In which you never let go.
A choice has to be made though, a decision of your own.
Taking a chance to be “real” or just go home alone?
You know you have to start, and mend that broken heart.
Depart from old ways, and repair from where you stopped.
Trying to dress all cool, but you still look like a fool.
Being with kids that do kush and smoke weed.
While, fully aware that those drugs are meant to impede.
Schotty, you can’t try to act cool and then try to be smart.
That is basically lying to yourself, and lying to people’s hearts.
I just want you to be you and no one else.
This will be the best choice, so be true to yourself.
Then just like that God’s voice just slipped away,
Died down in an instant,
Now I am left in a fray.
My mind is left in a fury of thoughts,
So overwhelming, I feel like my hearts going to pop.
But, I realize in my life my choices are made by me and me alone.
And I know I can’t live this life by myself, on my own,
I need him, I need Christ, he is my salvation.
I need to stop worrying, I need to be enlightened.
I have to do this for me, I have to be my own Titan.
My goal is to be reborn,
Reborn like a phoenix,
I will go through hell and back,
And I will still be singing,
I will still be shining,
And will continue smiling.
I will become a new man,
A man I want to be,
The type of man that God, has predestined for me.
Thank you lord, for your revelation
Now I can end this 3-week poem, in celebration.
Thank You all for listening, to my words of truth,
The real truth about Schotty, A.k.a. Mbeke, A.k.a. Me,
God Bless, and please live your life, in jubilee.