True Value

Relationships are hard.

Moving to a new town as a freshman going into high school is even worse.

Knowing absolutely no one kills you.

On the first day you see old friends reunite,

Communicating in such a flurry someone would think that the world had gone mad,

But not you

As you watch from afar,

Left out of the loop.

 

You tell your best friend out of state about your day.

She understands because she is in the same position as you.

But even then she finds words of encouragement,

Telling you to be yourself

And the rest will follow.

 

You take your friends words to heart and try your best to put yourself out of your comfort zone.

You make your first friend the second day of school.

You become best friends and begin to find more people that were in the same boat as you:

Lost

Alone

You become a group of outsiders.

 

A few months later and this group of outsiders transforms to a solid group friends with the same interests and the same classes.

 

Everything seemed to finally fit.

 

A year goes by and you begin to question one of your friend’s as your own.

Another year passes and you see this friend’s true colors.

Deep down you know you need to part ways to benefit yourself

But you don’t know how to let go.

Something keeps holding you back,

Like a ball and chain

Tethered to your heart,

A place you thought they would always be,

But you were wrong.

 

This friend becomes the annoying pop up on your computer you don’t want to deal with.

The devil on your shoulder that manipulates you to make the wrong decisions,

To follow the wrong path.

 

And when this friend then asks you “How come you didn’t invite me to hang out with you?”

Or

“Well how come you didn’t tell me your dog died?”

Or

“How come we don’t talk anymore?”

 

You put on a strong face

Take a deep breath

Look at your former friend directly in the eyes

And say:

 

I tried,

But I had to stop myself from reaching out a hand to a lifeless corpse.

I tried to contact life that I thought was on the other side, but you didn’t answer.

Expecting a ghostly message from you coming back from the dead I was deafened by the sound of silence.

 

I tried,

But I began to see that all the harm you caused me outweighed the good.

The scales were so unbalanced the bad began seeping through the floor

And the good was measured only in dust and cobwebs from the vacancy you put on its front door.

 

I tried,

But I soon realized that I was wrong.

I was not to blame for the relationship that turned sour.

I was wrong to think that a friend like you could last a lifetime.

I was wrong to think of you as someone to rely on,

Someone who I thought I could trust but that trust I put in you I didn’t get back in return.

 

Around you I began to feel a sense of dread.

Around you I was pressured to act a certain way.

The constant stress, the anxiety, and the paranoia swamped me to the point that

It began to feel intentional.

It began to feel like abuse.

 

That was not love.

Love is not the endless crap you fed me for the years I’ve known you.

Love is not easily defined by three little words with eight letters either.

 

It is the character of the people you care about

And the love they put in you in return.

It’s expressed through hugs and “get home safely”’s.

 

True friendship is being there for eachother,

Through thick and thin.

You name the time and place and they are there

Ready to help you tackle whatever is bringing you down.

 

The closest friends you have are the ones that come straight to mind when you have to explain the unimaginable.

They are the ones that will stay up at midnight listening to you explain how your grandfather passed away from cancer, or how your dog was put into heart failure.

They are the ones that comfort you the next day at school,

The ones that bring you a frosty from Wendy’s and an order of fries

And stay with you at your place because you didn’t show up to class.

 

These are the friends you value the most.

They are passionate, charismatic, and kind.

They are the friends that go out of their way to make your day that you need to keep close in your life.

They are the ones that would do anything to make you smile again.

These are the friendships that are timeless and cannot be bought.

They have full faith in your capabilities.

They aren’t the type of friends that weigh you down

But the ones that release you from your bonds so you can soar up above the stars.

 

Not because they feel obligated to,

But because they want to.

Because they value you

Because they trust you

Because they love you

 

And you love them back.

 

And that right there is love.

It’s the type of love that is ever so plentiful and healthy

That you can bet on it and win

Every

Single

Time.

 

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