Trapped Girl

I am the trapped girl.

I'm the one she wants to be, but doesn't think she can.

I'm the girl of her dreams. 

I pound on the fleshy walls, manifesting as a headache,

But all she does is take a pill and ignore me.

Thoughts race through her head like marathon runners, threatening to overrun her.

I try to stop them, screaming "Stop it!!"

But her body, pyschology, says "VOMIT!!"

I try to distract her, give her something else to focus on,

But she always lands on old demons.

Old demons only she can conquer, even I have no power.

I am powerless. 

So the body wins, she wretches, depriving me of nutrients.

I whisper phrases of strength to her, 

Stories told of victorious underdogs, talking clocks, beasts finding beauty.

I tell her to live on and find me.

But they fall on deaf ears, drowned out by fear.

Screams of doubt and fear, threatening to tear her apart.

I send strong waves of blood to her heart, keeping it beating, keeping her breathing.

I wonder if I'll ever convince my host to love herself.

But all hope is not lost, the one who she trusts most knows I'm in here.

Ang keeps the fear at bay, 

Never failing, always another card to play.

Always knowing what to say,

Seeing past the fear and crazy.

She's an infusion of bravery, 

Everything my host needs.

She. Sees. Me.

Bringing me out from under wraps,

Freeing what is trapped.

I am no longer trapped girl, 

With Ang we can conquer the world.

Love you Ang, leaving never,

Always sisters, best friends forever.

 

 

 

 

RACHEL, ALSO KNOWN AS HOST

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

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