Trapped, but can't tell you

I always told you I was fine
but with every time I said that,
I was lying more and more to myself.

Because of me not being able to tell you,
I now walk the halls hidden,
forever having to wear these long sleeves.

If only I could have gotten the courage to tell you what happened sooner,
If only I didn't wait until the only option I had was to make these scars,
If only you never happened.

I wish I never woke up to you on top of me,
I wish I could have stopped you,
I wish I never even invited you in the first place.

Why did you have to violate me,
why did you have to be my best friend,
why did you have to make me trust you.

For all the time I knew you I told you my flaws,
I told you about how I can't stand up for myself,
and you used that to your advantage,
you used me.

I have all of my life falling apart right now,
yet I can't get the courage to tell anyone what you did,
all of these things are burdens to me,
and I know now that I am my parents burden.

Why not end this pain.
Why not end your burden.
Why not end my life...

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