Ever since I was young,

Peers would tell me I should model

Ever since I was young,

Family would tell me I was mature

 

When I watched TV,

I saw how the pretty girl

Was the shallow girl

Was the dumb girl

 

I felt pressured

I can not let my beauty

Suffocate my substance

A disappearance- into vanity

 

Reconstruction

Of the soul

 

I decided

I would not be the next victim

Of circumstance

But, instead

I became the next victim

Of myself

 

I looked at my reflection

Every day

I picked myself apart

Every day

 

Until there was nothing

But an ugly face staring back

On January 27th,

I sat with my frustrations

I knew I had to change

 

I wrote with paper, no limitations

 

I wrote as much as my mind

Would permit

I did not know the cause of my grief

But I would learn it

 

Awareness was the catalyst

For growth

Intention was the change

 

I do not need poor body image

To have a kind heart

I need a strong will

 

I had given up myself

A sacrifice

 

Living passively

was confining

 

Poor self image

Gave me insecurities

That lead me to still believe

There was nothing about me that was worthy

 

So, my fears manifested still

It is insecurities that harvest your biggest fears

And confidence that harvests your hopes

I’ve learned

Some years the reaping will be better than others