Catch me and answer me.
Answer me now because I am not perfect.
Answer me now because I am not so together.
Answer me now because I'm tired
Sick and tired of never knowing and never being absolutely sure
That you're even there
In the way that my holding stong is beyond repair and you know your place
While mine is everywhere and I'm just human,
Not even quite that and standing broken, almost in the lighter darkness.
Answer me now because I stand on higher ground
And even the weak can hold to advantages, and I am
Powerful. My own narrations cannot be stronger.
Tell me if you would figure on the list, or if you would listen to me talk
If I took of what masks I still have and threw with what force I could muster, took of them
But could not completely rid myself of their protection...
Thoughts again. Things spin and I can't win and you can't lose.
Things fade and my heart breaks every time I lose you
But are you sincere or are you giving yourself
What she made you from the very start
Would you let me fall apart before you one more time, let me
Go through my words, one by timid, unfiltered one
And would you sort through my mind when I would ask
If I was right? Some languages were not meant
For communications and some meanings are best left
Deeply hidden and when you see what truths might be
In my delusional dreams of near-perfection
Will you run or will you stay put and loosen my unruly obsessions
Like you did last time but lightly so I can tell in the blurry rage?
When I reallly do let it go will you let me let you go
Running through the fields of a fiery, tainted world
That might have been best left alone without the poems
It's all up to you, will you stay or must you fall away from me?
If I'm allowed an argument and all I get's a sentence
Well you already know and you don't have the qualifications
And when I put the poison out there will you treat it or leave it because
You might not know it but you're perfect and there's no getting out of that...
I am not helpless but I am just too tired of putting the right away
By mistake because I can't tell the difference
I'm tired of putting the wrong things in the highest place
And just waiting for the towers to shake again
Ivory bone-white-knuckle towers to fall all over me again
And break again and leave me in peace to reorganize
I don't need everything but I want something because I'm tired
Of being wrong again. I don't want to ever crash back into third person
I'm tired of my very own silence that I create
And I'm tired of being wrong again, wrong again, wrong again.
She doesn't want me to go.