Today you would have been old.

04-30-2019

 

Today you would have been old

with a crackly back that

snap, crackle, pops

like my favorite cereal

and a thick lawn

of brown hair

with a little more forehead

or a small shinny cap

of skin in the middle.

                 Today you would have been old

                 despite the hours of bikram

                 yoga and miles

                 ran to no where

                 in particular

                 just because you loved

                 the feel of wind

                 on your face

                 blowing away the sweat

                 that fought to stay

                 until the last lap.

        Today you would have been old

         but still carrying

         the heavy weight of regrets

         for the time you couldn’t

         do it for the time you needed

         the high

         for the time you had to lie

         about wanting to be alive

         not wanting to die.

       Today you would have been old

       but you would have hated

       the living and waiting for something

       to feel right again

       for something to come alive

       again inside your gut

       and you would have faked

       it until you had another chance

       and another chance always comes

       and while it was the end

                   you would have been happy again.