Thoughts Leading to Grace

These tribes of thought gathering tracks of non-compliance
this hardware-brain that racks pins waiting on a roll
these wars that internalize their every battle
in the space between the filters of swift change

This discomfort born of silence that makes love to all my fear
here below the hollow moons that tide my changing mind
where the smiles are quite forced and low rewarding
when the phony rises from the ego ashes of refrain

Before I dance around the daylight
then succumb again to night

The flowers of my dreams, oh how they die forever slowly
though their beauty got me through some blazing storms
how the children smile when I so gladly greet them
not knowing of the gifts returned to me and more

And when in my silence I declare that I am shameful
for compulsions that have led me fast astray
when I am drawn unto my knees seeking deliverance
may the spirit of my God forgive my impulsed way

As I dance around the daylight
then succumb again to night

When the fog is lifted without a good intention
when the path leads me to another shade of black
may I pay my penance in the honesty of shame
until my will returns to lift me once again

And in my travels may I one day hold the sun
just long enough to know I’ve gone too far
for freedom as it leads to satisfaction
should by all accounts reciprocate itself

When I dance around the daylight
then succumb again to night

In the hollows where I parade unfit, so unknowing
in the vestibules between the driving rain
may I sense the beauty of a fragile moment
enough to know the worthiness of light

And when I sleep I pray that I will find tomorrow’s journey
to be the beggar of still better things to come
so that the love of life still burning here inside me
leads me to a peaceful death when I am done

When I no longer need the daylight
when I fade forever in the night

ajs

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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