Thise Words

Those few words oh my god. When I read them my world stopped. My heart dropped and my mind froze. I reread them in awe. Can those words really be true? Such strong words and feeling from an enclosed man. Not doubting his feelings but more so not believing that I could be so lucky to have him in such ways. God how lucky am I? It really blows my mind how strong of an effect I have on him. My heart is filled with such a strong passion for him. I love him so much. Oh my god I love him. How is it possible to feel this much for someone? I can still feel him on my mouth. I miss him. He kissed me and I bit his lip. He responded with such passion and pressed his lips hard against mine. God the effect we have on each other is almost unbearable. He said he wants me so bad. I can’t imagine what it would be like being his fully. I already feel like it’s unreal how much I can love him. What would even more be like? I try to imagine it and my heart and soul are overwhelmed. When he says “be mine” every part of my being aches for him. I spend all day thinking about him. I spend all night tossing and turning because I remain unsatisfied until I am in his arms once again. Every night sleep deprived and  during the day fighting to stay awake so I can message him. My mind exploding with thoughts which demand to be typed out. No matter the time I find myself staying awake to write about him or at least convincing myself to try to sleep instead of writing about him. My eyes water and my vision blurs in between words. I constantly yawn as I think. I think of how deliciously toxic my love for him is. Such raw emotion which I love and hate. God how painful it is to not be with him all the time. Even now as I type this my heart throbs for him. But god how good it feels to love him in any way. But in what way do I love him and am I “in love” with him?  Now that’s the question I ponder. When I read those words I realized he is all I want and I question if I felt the same toward him. All I think of is I love him so much. Oh my god I love him.


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