Therapy Explosion part 2

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 18:00 -- Soulae


I got a rebellious heart right now,
I don't even know where to start and tell you what I feel every time I wake up,
I wanna scream for no apparent reason it's sounds crazy but it really is for a reason, 
I wanna be me,
Believe it or not that's hard as hell to be,
Cause all I know is to be scared of opening up my mouth, fear of being embarrassed, 
It's a childhood fear man so I don't expect you to get it,
But I know what I feel,
And it's real, 
But I do wanna heal,
You don't even know how bad I do,
I feel like I'm in a prison man when I open my eyes,
You wanna know why,
Well what you see ain't me, for real 
I know it's hard to believe but looks are deceiving,
If you could see my heart you would get the feeling but you don't,
All I know is I wanna rebel,
I was tryna do the right thing and try things the lords way but that shit ain't working, 
I got faith don't get it twisted,
But I also got hate inside of me that's been tearing me down for years,
And I'm tired of it,
Every time I try to be positive and do the right thing everything goes left,
Like what the fuck, 
Excuse my language but I'm tired of not living for myself,
I don't even know what the hell it feels like to live for myself,
I want out,
I prayed asking God not to let me get this far but I'm here and I'm pretty sure it's for a reason,
I need to experience my life,
For myself,
Forget everything else, 
My past has been bringing down,
Keeping me unhappy,
In bondage,
Isolated from everybody,
And I don't like it,
Fuck I hate it,
I guess when you got a lot of emotions inside of you you stay real quiet,
so you don't explode in front of everybody who thinks so highly of you or in my case so you won't change your image of what's perceived of you,
I wanna do what I want to do for once,
Forgive me God but I need to do something that I never did,
Experience my life,
Cause if I don't I'm gonna keep all this resentment in my heart and damage my life till there's nothing left,
My heart is dark,
 I need to be free,
I got all this anger and sadness inside of me, 
I don't wanna be mad no more,
I don't wanna be sad no more,
I'm sick of having pity on myself, 
Feeling sorry for myself all the damn time,
That shit is depressing,
I be lying to myself every damn day,
Drawing a smile on my face like that shit is sincere,
Yea right,
I been deceiving everyone around me,
I feel like I've been mad at everybody for a long ass time because of all this hate inside of me,
 I don't want it no more,
I wanna let it go,
I gotta go and find me.


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