This is not facetious
because this thank you
is heartfelt and
to say thank you to a drunk seems counterintuitive
you were the biggest influencing push
in my life.
The drunk who’s stayed by my side saying
“I’m here for you”
Smelling of Yeager.
Thank you seems counterintuitive because
you Hurt me,
you Scared me,
you made me Fear men,
You made me Fear the Contents of a person's Glass more than words and intentions
And yet I learned more from you than I did from anybody.
I thought you were loud and tired when I was young, and
I never want to skip on my naps or I’ll sway when I walk
And I never want to be so loud that I scare my sister to
Peed her pants.
you don’t remember because you were drunk but, she did
she peed her pants
Thank you for showing me that
I never want to be that loud or that tired and
I’m proud that
I never have.
I remember the name Jim Beam and now that I’m an adult I can’t help the
of seeing Jim everywhere
because you told
That you would rather Jim Beam’s company over your family
You would rather Jim Beam than a warm meal and comforting hugs.
You showed me how the contents of a
made you Isolated and Lonely and Blameful.
And I blamed Jim before I saw who was
Because of that
I knew that I never wanted to be so attached to something in my
rather than my
or my Home
I knew that as I got older Home was no longer a place where I slept or ate.
That place you stayed was a roof that I frequently visited.
Thank you for making that place so unwanted
It pushed me to look at other
Places, Things, Persons
I made my Home
I had more than one.
Home was the adventures of libraries,
The peace of drives with mom,
Parks with friends that felt warmer than any heated bed,
Mentors that taught me passion
I saw Myself.
I saw Myself in your eyes.
What you saw was something that should have been grateful for even
Even for a comment that felt like a slap.
Now I see
develop into everything you weren't
Because you showed me everything, I never wanted to be
And for that