The Teddy Bear

Mon, 12/23/2013 - 21:51 -- rjh65


On Valentine’s Day you gave me a teddy bear

In return I gave you my heart

You said “Take good care of him he’s my favorite”

I said “Here, no strings attached”

You proceeded to put my heart on a leash like a pet

And I put that teddy bear on my bed like an altar

As my heart reveled in consensual captivity and fiercely sought your affection

I lay each night next to the teddy bear as it sat like a sentry watching over me

Each day I would awake to find him still sitting by my side

It was nice being in such a faithful relationship… and being with you

The teddy bear’s ceaseless gaze and sewed on smile reassured me

Sure some days I sought your love like water in the desert

Sure there were a few instances I crawled marathons through broken glass

And sure maybe I looked like a ballerina constantly walking on your eggshells

But I still had the teddy bear

At least some proof that there was some reciprocation of my infatuation

But when you shattered my little bubble of denial and bliss

Crawled into bed with him and straddled his hips

Putting lips once reserved for me upon his lips

Your teddy bear turned into a monster

His ceaseless gaze boring into my soul

Just in case I dared to think of anything other than your face

Like the raven he taunted me

Nevermore could I even tie my shoes

 Without somehow remembering how we used to tie knots with our fingers

Your teddy bear’s gaze reminding me

That while you’re sailing off to infinity and beyond with him

So is my self esteem

This monster

I flung it from my bed like a colony of ravenous bed bugs

And in its place resentment grew like a weed

Its roots wrapping around my lungs

Just like I’d wrap my arms around your waist

Constricting every time you dropped his name

Wore his shirts

Even entered the same room

Squeezing and squeezing like a boa constrictor

I was learning to live with asthma

Yet I could never find my inhaler

I stared into the bear’s eyes

Nevermore I declared

Would I be wooed by seemingly sweet, innocent princesses

Nevermore would I entertain the notion of allowing one, two… or three passing glances

Nevermore would I charge in like a valiant knight

Only to be turned into a faithful steed

I am Superman I said

I am invincible

 I looked into the bear’s eyes and I decided

Nevermore would I be afraid of this teddy bear

Today the teddy bear sits on my bed once again

With his perpetual gaze he watches over my heart

And keeps it safe 


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