I couldn’t tell you what I thought at the beginning of this year
Every word people said were just words that…
Bounced off my ear
I graduated high school with a 4.0
Easy for me, everyone expected me to
I stayed close to home to help with my new sister
She’s one now
She’s one of the people that got me through this year and let me tell you how
The election doesn’t matter, nor does religion or any of the babble that the television and CNN rattles
What mattered this year
What really beat down my fear
Not people on the news or shows or in whatever anti-bs rallies
But people that were there whether I needed them or not
Other people that left me or I made leave me and guess what?
The way they treated me wasn’t okay and now I’m… Happy
After four years of saying I’d never have a boyfriend or fall for someone because what idiot does that?
Well, clearly I’m the idiot that does and clearly love is not just a chemical composition it is a word that in the end only mean something if you want them to.
And he asked me to let it mean something to me
So now it does and I guess it’s put me in an unbalanced way but I’ve never felt so happy with someone that I’d spent so little time with
The happiness makes me cry to this day
Sort of like how my baby sister does
She was born in 2015 but let me tell you how happy her being born made me
She was a little light in my dark room and let me tell you I am terrified of the dark
She picked up one of my fingers, because her hand isn’t big enough to hold mine, and pulled.
I was up.
Just like that I was up and walking with her, I didn’t look where I was and I ran into a wall or table once or twice
She just stumbles and toddles and I have to help her up more than thrice
Before I could see it, she pulled me into this beautiful world full of light and color
It only took me a little while to realize that all the sunshine and color was from eyes
And when my eyes study those I know who they belong to.
They are people I love and that love me back
And now I know I don’t have to crawl back into my world of black
Every single color in this world lights up with these people
Every single emotion is strong, and I don’t let them be hidden and subtle
I get to be in someone’s arms now, a strong grip that holds me safe and warm
And I give him a safe place too because he knows I won’t be any harm
The same place goes for my sister and everyone I hold dear
We have all survived together. Whether it be college, high school, relationships, or aimless fun.
Each of us, together, have all made it.
And that survival has brought me back as a person.
I never thought that food could have such sound or that color could have such smell.
But now I know it does.
And I fell
I fell deep, deep in love with this world
And I am not coming back out, I’m wrapping myself up tight.
This world is my oyster right?
And I guess that makes me the pearl.