watching sunrises. i want him to take me in his arms and whisper into my ear.

"you are so beautiful. the loveliest i have ever seen. don't die don't die don't die."

as if that could save me.

as if words. words repeated over and over and over again could draw the sickness out of my body.

sunrises.

blood reds purples streaks of light and blue painted on the sky.

i want to watch every one of them. from the begininng of time till my last breath.

God it's so beautiful.. i wanted to be that beautiful.

when i open my eyes, everything will be gone and i will be painted across the sky in bursts of colour.

i need this.

i need to be told. i need it so badly.

i want to live.