Have you ever bottled your secrets within yourself for so long that the ship starts to sink

and it begins to pull you down to the bottomless sea?

Wouldn’t it be nice to share those secrets with someone,

without judgement and without emotional scarring for once?

But how can you share the moments that tore you to shreds,

the moments which left you scarred forever,

above all, these are the secrets you’ve tried to keep hidden from yourself -

and they’ve begun to spill out.

The “are you seriously upset about that? It happens to everyone” doesn’t cut it. 

It makes it worse.

To think I was able to share something so dark with someone who pinned the blame on me made me keep the rest of my secrets hidden with lock and key.

But it’s reached the point where my memory draws a blank.

I’ve managed to erase whole events along with people from my memory.

It’s gotten so bad that I can’t remember what I did the night before.

And I no longer know if it’s because it scarred me or because I’ve given up on happiness.

It would be nice to share the acts which scarred me the most with someone who would legitimately care for  my sanity.

But they’ve consumed my life and I can no longer distinguish reality from my nightmares.