I've never felt so out of place before

And i've never missed being a kid as much as I do right now,

Because I can still hear the morning doves cooing as I played in the small metal pool in the backyard of my grandparents house,

And I miss the feeling they gave me of being In summer

Because now all it reminds me of are things I can not have,

But I do not resent the morning dove for its coo,

Because without it I would not remember those warm days in the backyard.

I think forgetting those days would be worse than dying,

Because if not for those days, I would not be here writing this.

I like to think back on those days because now the days seem to claw at my skull,

And everywhere is so unbearingly loud and I can't drown out the noise anymore.

Sometimes I wish I could fall asleep and relive those days without worry,

Because being a child was so less tiresome than being a teenager,

And I’m sad I wished I would grow up faster because now all I want to do is go back.