I'm in a serious, long term relationship with someone that I love and who has finally found it in themselves to love me and love me right with all that I am, all that I've been and all that I'm still to be, that I can't jeopardize for a few moments of fun.I've been craving for this type of love for the longest of time, that it got me in strangers hands at some point, learning that there are more than 100 shades of the same colour when it comes to sheets. That the words I love you can be said sarcastically in a thousand ways and each time soothing your questioning mind and reaffirms your subconscious hypotheses.

But now I am in a serious long term relationship that I can't jeopardize for mornings of having to reintroduce myself to someone and sometimes using the word "babe" not because I care but simply because asking "hey, what's your name once again" is just plain rude and I don't want to kill the illusion of what we had last night even though it could have been the worst I wouldn't say because I don't have to see their face again. So I fake smile and say it was nice, hoping to get back to my room unnoticed, needing coffee, a shower and some herbs to cleanse myself off the bad energy they might have left.

I'm in a serious long term relationship that I can't jeopardize because it's with someone that I love and has finally found the courage to say it back not because it's what they think it's expected of them but truly how they feel about me and yes it's long over due But it really beats the late night "I really miss you" texts that only translate to my bed is feeling cold and I'd really do with some sex then maybe even have you as my morning coffee because nothing beats the morning glory probably even followed by an evening " thank you for last night" text that isn't really true but just a way of opening a channel to hit me up whenever knowing that l'd never say "ever considered getting a heater?"

I'm in a serious long term relationship that I can't jeopardize for weeks of no talk and calls only when people need pillow talks, in between the hours from my place to theirs the only time I heard words was the "hey" they said when the door opened and the rest was when we let our bodies do the talk and damn we both have been here before so we've become quite the expects.

I'm in a long term relationship that I cannot jeopardize because I now do get the compliments that once upon a time they were all I had for breakfast until the world told me to swallow and stomach my words so that they never found their way back to the tip of my tongue denying me the courage to say yes this is me. This time they aren't coming from what's his name and I don't only hear them when my favourite pair of undies that isn't my favourite anymore meets the floor of whichever room I'm in this time from the lips of a guy who'll probably never say hi the next time we meet outside. And yes my ego is too big to admit that I hate him because he said all the right words at the most convenient moments making me weak at my knees with him not there to catch me when I fall from the jump I just took to catch these feelings. Now I have a box full of them in my wardrobe which is now over flowing of all the others I've caught before and had no one to take them back and give me their love in return.

I'm in a long term serious relationship that I can't jeopardize for any mediocre love that really isn't love but something like it that really isn't what it is. Always backed up by lame excuses and phone calls never returned and numbers that were never stored but dates never forgot because you never know when that ride might come in handy so you forget that the deed ever happened but the heart never lies even though the conscious might block it out.This is the love of my life, I am her. I am finally in a long term serious relationship with myself and I am not about to jeopardize it.