A Student Body (through the eyes of a fellow student)

I walk through school and I look at the sea of faces. Except, I do not see faces, I see walls. The walls that people hide behind to seem strong and in control. I pass by my friends and though they smile and say hello I see right through their façade. I see their pain and suffering when they think no one is looking. I hear their misery and their need to look as if their life is together when they talk and are unaware that anyone is listening. It hurts when they push my outstretched hand away and act as if everything is sunny. They do not think I understand the rainstorm overshadowing their life, but I do.  I am just as broken as they are. I hide behind the wall I've built whenever I am pushed away. I do not see that I am just like those that I resent. It is a vicious cycle. A never ending system of hurt and pain. I push away those who reach out to me, I fear trust, I fear vulnerability. Behind my wall I scarcely see the lost sould who need the comfort and help that I can provide. Help me. I am so lost, so confused, so scared. Please help me. Do not leave me. I do not want to hide, but I have been hiding for so long, I do not remember what it feels like to feel safe. Make me feel safe, please. It is hard enough to walk the halls and to see so many hiding in the name of self preservation, without looking in the mirror and seeing my own wall, with a fake smile plastered to it, staring back.


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