Don't do this, don't say that

Oh, here's some "food" that'll make you feel like crap

Is that not enough?

Would you like some more?

How about I give you a pop quiz that'll drop your score.

How about I put you in a room with people you hate

I'm gonna lecture you for over an hour, don't be late

Can you go to the bathroom? 

I don't know, can you?

Do you need me to hold your hand while you go Number 2?

Do you need me to tell you the assignment again?

You should've been listening, and not talking to your friend

We've prepared you for college, I hope you know

what you plan to do with your life after this fiasco 

Once you leave, your on your own...

But first take this 3 hour, 10 section test, in which each section gives you 20 minutes to answer 45 million questions