sometimes you understand the reality of the world
how its stupid infuriating and not worth the effort
you see the endless struggle that you call a life
and only get greeted with dirt as your prize
oh lord above or the demons in my head
do you have fun at my own expense
the jumble of emotions that i am cursed to feel
do you enjoy my suffering as your evening meal
sometimes i want to talk about it and let it out
only to be confronted by the mess that I am
then overwhelmed and begin to run away
and realizing i made the biggest mistake
the people who supported me that kept me alive
These jumbled emotions that their meaning they deprive
I ran away from their guidance and warmth out of fear
madness replaces the hole i created
And yet in those holes I feel somewarmth
and i cry that something seems wrong
I grasp at it but like sand it falls through
as I feel my chances of happiness slip away
My inability to change to see to listen
riddled my grasping hands with holes
Maybe when i am done crippling myself I'll find peace
In the broken haven that I call my soul.