Nobody to trust, nowhere to turn

I am not sure if anyone around me realizes how suffocating it is

To not be able to share your feelings for fear of broken secrecy or dissaproval 

Everytime i take a deep breathe in, it feels like I am inhaling glass

Those around me whisper quietly, the facade of friendship slowly cracking

Told I am horrible at secrecy, yet it is only my secrets that continue to spill

going over the pot, everyone else's is sitting contently

What is this? The irony of your words leave a bitter taste on my mouth

Wondering why strangers are heavily leaned on for support, when that is my only means of true privacy and comfort.

Feeling safe and comfortable that night

That morning, heavy regret sits on my gut

My shoulders feel like a thousand pounds when i hear the words

What did i ever do? To deserve the hatred placed at my doorstep

Was I not a good guiding figure? Was i not a holder of secrets? 

Am i not allowed to feel anger without fearing total abadonment due to my feelings.

The people I am supposed to feel closest too, hurt me without a second thought

I put so much thought into my words and actions, as to not receive mistreatment

yet they throw such hurtful words so easily, throwing away my worth