Standing Here

Hello. I’m Christian.

We’ve talked a little bit over text and i didn't think much of it,

But standing here in front of you.

Suddenly my breath is gone

And my cheeks are flushed

There’s butterflies in my stomach

Is my heart supposed to beat this fast?


I don't know why I’m so nervous.

I've said hi to a thousand people before.

But standing here in front of you,

I know this time “hello” is something different.

Different, how? I haven’t got a clue.

But i get a premonition that this is something bigger than a mere “hello”

I can feel it on the horizon, can you feel it too?


I’m trying to slow my heartbeat

I’m trying to stop my shaking hands

But standing here in front of you

You're not making it very easy.

Standing there in your stupid flannel

And your stupid snapback

And your stupid face.

Gods, i want to kiss that stupid face.

Do you want to kiss this stupid mess?


I need to put this train of thought on pause.

I’m still trying to get past “hello.”

But standing here in front of you.

I can see a future in your eyes.

I can see the 2nd, 3rd, and 16th dates.

I can see late nights cuddling while we watch Newsies for the upteenth time.

I can see the fights we’ll have.

I can see the memories we’ll share.

And I wonder if you can see the same in my eyes.


I promise I’m not trying to scare you off,

As I’m standing here like an idiot trying to figure out my next words.

But standing here in front of you,

I’m scared.

Because the dates, and the nights, the memories, and the fights means i have to trust you.

I was never good at trust falls.

But I can feel myself falling for you.



Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741