Stained

By Shelby Haley

 

Dear Journal,

A dark ink flows through the tattered page

Humans dancing, laughing, singing on the monochrome stage.

No matter how hard I try

I can’t help but scream why

Why they laugh and sing

When life is such an evil, fickle thing.

But for writing, really I have an unquestionable knack.

 

So, as the pen flows and writes, I stain the parchment black.

 

I don’t understand, I hope it will pass

 

For now I’m hurting, shattered like glass

 

I see them run by with smiles on their lips

 

And here I am, stuck, in sad, icy grips.

 

Pour out my soul through the drops in my eyes

 

Hoping they’ll see through this happy disguise

 

The paper is ripping, my heart I’ve attacked

 

It’s hurting me, staining the paper black.

 

My veins flow, thick with red ink

 

Hurt me more, and my heart will soon sink

 

Rip out emotion and release my poor soul

 

Let me feel again, make me once more whole.

 

Think of me when you see those flowers

 

The glorious crimson ones I stared at for hours

 

In in this journal I draw, as my voice starts to crack

 

Those beautiful roses, yet, now they’re stained black.

 

In my dark little world I’m always in

 

I’ll be here when I’m old; here I’ve always been

 

But still, the laughter beckons me close

 

It makes me question the life I long ago chose

 

I almost wish they would see me here

 

And cut the strings of my evil puppeteer.

 

I write the words and hope to turn back

 

The pen is emptied of all its black

 

A hand to reach out, a voice to call
 

I wonder if I simply imagined it all

 

But they’ve all appeared, around me with smiles

 

Of all different shapes, colors and styles

 

My monochrome world fades all away

 

And I’m no longer sad today

 

The paper- my heart- once stained black

 

Has receded entirely, gone away to its pack

 

And now, my heart, released from dread

 

is now a vibrant, loving red.