You asked me why I did it
But I don’t know what you expected me to say
Your presence was so warm
But frigid
So familiar, but
Stranger than a foreign language
And now all I do is try to forget
Try to pretend you didn’t do it


So I think about music
But a song comes on shuffle
And you’re the first person I want to share it with
And I think about my career
But I can’t forget our late night talks
Parked somewhere far away,
Staccato heart beats resulting from
Endless kissing
And smoke leaving your mouth,
Or mine
So then I think about humanity
But who else would stay up all night with me
Longing to change the world,
In our own way?


But now
I’m still haunted
By what could have been
By what I always thought was true
And I can’t fucking escape my own mind
Because that’s the only place I still have you
You’re the one person capable
Of consuming every fucking part
Of who I am.


So that’s why I did it
Because even without you with me
You still have so much power over me
And I can’t imagine how weak I’d be
If I continued to be the window pane
Instead of the rock that shattered it


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