South Sunrise


I turn right when I am wrong
Soon a left to my treasure
Here the feelings run strong
I am nearly guilt free in this pleasure
A safe haven I run to
A place separate from Earth
In this haven no one can hurt you
Sweet deception for all that it's worth
A dark beginning we hide deep in the shadows
There is danger if this were brought to the light
I watch in awe through the highs and the lows
Cold and distant by day but warm and close through the night
Each leaf much like us changes color and falls
Fear and pride feed on solace until nothing is left
As I blink my safe haven is closed in by walls
Guilt arrives just to warn me it is time to pay debt
Silence now where laughter once was
You grow angry when I ask, "Can you remember?"
No place in the world can do what that haven does
I stare at its walls for the last time in September
Those words which never left our mouth
The truth that hid behind our eyes
I know that things have since gone south 
But I stayed awake to watch the sun rise



This is a poem releasing the guilt that I experienced while in a relationship with someone suffering from mental illness while they chose to self medicate instead of taking medication to help their symptoms. I knew being close to someone in this state could be dangerous but I cared very deeply for the individual and tried to put up a fight with this illness. I tried to convey the rollercoaster of emotions that this person struggled with through the contrast of high and low and dark and light within the poem. This was a painful time for me but I have hope that someday this person will seek help even though I can no longer be apart of their life. 

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