So Much More Ahead

Dear Future Self,     I am writing this right now because I need scholarship money. High school is ending soon, and I am overwhelmed. I have been studying for the SAT, researching colleges like it's my religion, studying harder and harder so I can keep my 4.0, and try to decide what I truly want to do in my future. When you read this, things will be much different. I will be much different than the 16-year old Junior girl that is scared to take the next step forward. Today is the last day of the first semester. I have 3 semesters left of high school and then it is all gone. We all go our separate ways, nothing will ever be like high school after high school. Sure, that’s alright, but I am comfortable with the high school and my current lifestyle. I am good at high school. I don’t have a ton of friends, but I get great grades. I’m not all that social, but I figure that will come during college. Yesterday I had to get a couple of shots at the doctor's office, I cried so loud another nurse came into the room to help. How can I live on my own if I can’t handle a shot? I have entered several scholarship contests since school started, and I have yet to win one of them. Good luck paying off your lifelong debt, sorry I couldn’t be a better writer. I hope to do well on the SAT, I have an intense study schedule. I’m afraid of not finishing my study book by April. But in May, there is prom. I think I found a dress, it’s a mix of simple, cute, and kinda vintagey fashion. These are the better things( like prom) to focus my energy on because they don’t stress me out as much. You are probably experiencing anxiety still, maybe more than I have ever imagined now. I am afraid that I peaked in high school. What am I going to do when this is done? I have ideas, but they are ambitious and could be more than I can handle. I love history, politics, and I want to make my own museums. I also want to volunteer, travel the world, and experience new cultures. I originally wanted to join the Peace Corps after college, but feel like I should just dive right into life and internships or jobs after college so I can pay back my loans. But I also have thought a lot about taking a gap year between high school and college. Or maybe in the middle of college. I want to study abroad too. I have a need to see all that I can see and make the world the best place it can be. As a feminist, seeing the way the world treats women globally makes me want to take action. I want to travel and empower women to stand up for their natural rights and fight oppression. I have respect for other cultures, but women are supposed to be people, not objects. I have so many ways I want to change the world, and also be my own individual with personal goals that do not have to benefit anyone besides myself. I want to graduate at the top of my class, with a high enough SAT score to get into any college I desire. I want to travel the world. I want to see, experience, and interact with new cultures. I want to live in a different state or different country. I want my voice to be heard by women all over. I want to study history because it is the best subject ever. I want to make my own museums about history, women, and politics. I want to change the political culture in our nation. I want to do it all, but for now, I am scared of my next doctor's appointment and will stress about my SAT study schedule. I will enter more scholarships, and maybe win one. I am writing this right now because I want to remember this chapter in my life forever. Sincerely,Your young-self 

This poem is about: 
Me
Our world

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