Smoke something

They took me as a joke because they didn't understand why I did what I did
I couldn't breathe I was tired of being treated like a kid
Just once she said, try it once
I thought it would be fun and I was kind of so curious
But after the first hit 
I was so happy I was delirious
It seemed to good to be true
My problems went away 
And I knew I would hit it a couple of more times 
only for a couple of days
Until I became sober and back to reality
Life was kicking me away
And I hated the thought of being me
So I get back to school and see my
They want me to try it again
I was like why not , please show Mel
Yet again I was happy
Or I thought I was
Or I really wasn't
This thing they gave me
Made me 
Hate me
Create me 
I was in a bubble that seemed to be ruining me daily
The first time they found out
I pretty much got beat
A son to touch such a substance didn't deserve heaven , only the heat
But right then when they pushed him away
Is when really he just wanted them to stay
They didn't get that I was stuck
That I was lost and really just out of my luck 
That this substance made me
So I smoked it again
And took my last hit
They called it a shame but were too blind to see that we were all just running a game
What you have to see is that I was depressed
That I was so sad that I was so vexed
And that I had no love no one to help connect
So I might have been Doing wrong and things that were a disgrace
But I'm a human with a heart please don't be ashamed to look at my face
This drug thing has always been a cry for help
You smoke it you forget , not realizing it's ruining your health
The problem is, no one to talk to
No one that gets it and makes you feel like you can be you
So when he disappeared into this other world
He imagined life non existent 
Like he can be anyone he wanted and everyone would dig it
Until that day came and it was too much
Too much smoking he had to give it up
So when the homies came
and tried to get me to try that bong
 I had to tell them to
Leave I was done doing that wrong
What I didn't see happening was instead
Of smoking away 
i Found God and realized he was here to stay
God gave me this sweetness that no blunt could
If I could take it all back, I swear I would
Because to be a Palestinian kid who was on drugs didn't sound right
How could someone with such status smoke on a pipe
When you haven't tried it you wouldn't understand
When you first try it you don't get how it has a hold on you
How you think it's not that serious till your personality starts to mold on you
You don't want to be that guy
The one when ur name comes up and everyone is like why
The one who was a hopeless case and everyone couldn't wait to say Bye
So don't ask how he could hit it
Ask him why he did it
Guide that inspired this poem: 


Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741